A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my friend having gained insight into a nagging issue. The comments I got made me re-think what I’d written and thinking that I wasn’t clear enough in getting across my point. The point was that when we get to the real reason something is bothering us and examine it, that bothersome thing often just goes away. It’s like magic, but of course, it really isn’t. It’s work that requires we get real honest with ourselves.
While I began the piece about the slightly negative reaction my friend had to her new daughters-in-law, that wasn’t meant to be the focus. It was about her realizing and allowing herself to feel her very human sense of loss. There were lots of comments suggesting that my friend should know that she has to let go of her sons. Several people quoted part of the poem by Kahlil Gibran: “Your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they do belong not to you.”
I actually had that read at my daughter’s naming ceremony when she was an infant. Clearly, I agree with the sentiment. I think my friend does too. Although, as parents, this is easier said than done.
Another, lesser known Gibran quote:
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
As you’ve probably noticed, I often write about the importance of psychological and emotional intelligence. When my friend, a highly-trained psychotherapist, said she felt light and free at her discovery, I was thrilled that she could now, was now, enjoying the addition to her family, instead of feeling resentful.
I thought it was a great idea for a post. It also led me to another idea for the following post about my first born.
I love getting your feedback! (I’d love it even more if you’d write your comments here instead of on Facebook because I could respond more directly to you and we could also have a more fluid community discussion.)
I hope you’ll keep reading and responding. I so appreciate you all.
Welcome to My Breakdown 
Benilde I love your writing and look forward to every post. This post hits home for me.
Dear Karen,
“Hitting home,” is exactly what I want my readers to feel. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Much love, fellow Weequahic Indian.
Your blog is an essential read for me each month because it helps me to pace myself and to be aware of the simple things in life as they are taking place. As a mother, I often want to write the script for every member in my family. I believe I do this as an attempt to protect them. My children are still quite young, but I intend to allow them to be themselves, naturally.