20 Apr

As many of you probably know by now I have a new book coming out. I’ve been talking about it for some time now, even started this blog back when in hopes of talking up the book and introducing myself to you. I’ve had to learn how to be a publicist, a public relations person for myself. Not something I’ve easily embraced. I’m a writer. There are PR people. It’s rare that one person possess both traits. Writers tend to be introspective and need solitude. You’ve got to have that to create. PR people are often extroverts, you kind of have to be to be heard over all the noise that now makes up modern life. Now, I’m both.
My last book, Who Does She Think She Is? Was published in 2006. A lot has changed since then and the biggest one is the advent of social media. Facebook became available to all in 2006, but was not used by too many people older than 15 back then. (Now young people refer to FB as something for old people–at least that’s what my kids say.)
Many writers who published back then were mostly published by houses and had a PR person designated to get the word out. There’s still some of that, but much of it is left up to the author.

I’m amazed at people on FB, bloggers and such who no problem promoting themselves–my new book is fantastic; my blog is the ish, and so on. I cringe at the thought of doing this, but I understand I gotta get over it and if you’ve been following me on FB you probably see I’ve climbing the curve. My friend Linda Villarosa, also a writer, and I have talked about this phenomenon and decided that it’s an age thing. Some of these writers, some of whom we know, are a little younger than us and came of age when that kind of bragging is de rigeur, not seen as anything else. We see it as poor taste. But in this new world, I’m having to accept it, just like reality TV and selfies. I can’t imagine that I’ll ever be caught saying: “My book is the ish,” but as I’m push, push, pushing during this publication phase, I’m getting comfortable with the humble-brag.

For those of you who get slightly queasy at the notion of the push and all the notices you’re getting begging you to buy it and to tell your friends, please bear with me. Know that I’m gettin’ a little sick of it too, but as with motion sickness, if you wanna ride, you take a Dramamine and keep moving.

Thanks for bearing with me and your support. Tomorrow is publication day!!!


10 Responses to “Humblebrag”

  1. Hillary April 20, 2015 at 11:48 pm #

    I’ll be there-ish with you tomorrow during your humble brag šŸ˜„

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Jackie Holness April 21, 2015 at 3:03 am #

    Get your promotion on!

  3. Jacqueline Jimenez-Moore April 21, 2015 at 3:41 am #


  4. Pamela Perry-Eatman April 21, 2015 at 5:52 pm #



    Our book-club has selected, “Welcome to my Breakdown” as our new selection. All of us are either downloading it or buying it today. So excited, as I, have read ALL of your books and shared them with others. I’m such a big fan.

    When I told the other 5 ladies about the selection, the all said, it should be called “Welcome to their Breakdown”.

    Our group is made up of six successful Black moms; (2) high powered attorneys, (2) business owners, (1) law Professor, and (1) University Dean.

    Two in our group have lost their mothers in the past 6 years, all of us are dealing with aging parents. We have a combined 13 children either in college, high school or middle school. Two of us suffer with clinical depression, one of us recently had a mastectomy for breast cancer, illnesses, surgeries, etc. among ourselves and spouses. Plus we all spend our evenings passing portable fans as we take turns with hot flashes!

    We have all been married for 20+ years (and deal with all the ups and downs associated with life-long marriage partners).

    We are so excited to begin reading your book and spending an evening with each other discussing and relating to it with good food and lots of wine!

    Congratulations and keep em’ coming!


    Kindred spirits in southeastern Michigan

  5. Robin Caldwell (@biglifefreelife) April 23, 2015 at 3:57 am #

    Benilde, I’m an introverted, solitude loving PR person. I am also a writer, and you’re right, it’s hard to do both, especially do both well. I look forward to reading your book. I’m grateful for you. Have you scheduled a book tour? If so, where do we find the schedule? Thank you and best to you, Robin

  6. Annie T May 31, 2015 at 9:54 pm #

    My mom gave me your book yesterday and I finished it today. She was struck by the similarities in our lives (turning down the volume on creative careers to raise later-in-life children. Sick of the suburbs, missing the city). My father died two months ago so reading of your grief was so vivid. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel less alone. You let me feel that this is life. I didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes things unfurl in a way that leaves you in stunning emotional places.

    I wondered while reading your book how any spiritual or religious beliefs may have helped you cope with your mom’s death. I’m still stunned that this person who was a part of me forever no longer exists.

    I loved reading about your mom. It made me want to meet her.

    Wishing you all the silver linings that may be out there. Thank you again.

    • Benilde Little June 1, 2015 at 6:25 pm #

      Hi Annie,
      I’m glad the book resonated with you and I’m sorry for your loss. One of the reasons I wanted to share my story was because I knew in my gut that it wasn’t just my story and it’s been so gratifying hearing from so many women, like you, who feel stuck and sad and don’t know what to do. In terms of a religious belief, no I don’t do any kind of organized religion. I do chant sometimes and I sit quietly and sometimes I pray. In concluding treatment after several years with a therapist, she said to me upon our final visit that at the end of the day, faith is a good thing to have. She wasn’t religious or advocating any kind of organized religion, just some kind of belief in something larger than oneself. I have that. All the best to you, Annie–what I know for sure is that life consists of many things–the mundane, heartbreak and joy. The challenges are things that build character–no shortcut to that.

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