What day works for you? Spontaneous works for me

8 Oct

This is not an awe-inspiring idea, but it is a lightbulb for me.
One of the nice things about getting older is knowing who you are and accepting it–good, bad, indifferent. I am spontaneous. I am not a planner. There’s the good and the not so good but I’m choosing to focus on the positive.
Early this morning an old pal, Paris, hit me up on FB and emailed me. I hadn’t seen or talked to her in about six years. She was in town on business from Charlotte, where she’d moved 10 years ago. She asked if I still walked the dog everyday in the park. I emailed her back: same number, same hood (sorry, channeling Biggie). Same routine for a decade–how can that be? The time worked for her, so she met me there. It was great to catch up and I immediately remembered how much I’d liked her energy. Everyday, before Paris moved away, she and her basset hound, Chloe, would walk with my Charlie and me, Jen and Sirus and others who have since fallen off or moved away.
Those of you who know me, follow my blog or have read my latest book, Welcome to My Breakdown, know how important my dog is to me and that I walk him everyday with my peeps–Will, Claire & the aforementioned Jennifer.
I know lots of people in my town and fortunately for me, I like many of them. I ran into the mother of one of Ford’s pre-school friends, with whom Cliff and I used to spend some time. I liked her and her partner a lot. Those kid based relationships, however, often fade when the kids get older and go off in different directions, but your feelings don’t. I’d like to have coffee with Susan, catch up with her and with many of those people, but I simply can’t (and have anything resembling a writing life). So, I’ve come up with an idea. For all of you, and you know who you are–some are the ones I spend 30 minutes talking to in the CVS parking lot, or in an aisle at ShopRite or on the bus into the city. We promise to reach out and get together and don’t. Instead of thinking about making a date, let’s just meet in the park. You know which park and I’m there in the morning. I am with my peeps, but one day or two out of a week I can break away from my pack to visit with you. For me, it’s enriching moments. I probably won’t see Paris for another few years and we’re both good with it.
Here’s to making a plan without planning…

3 Responses to “What day works for you? Spontaneous works for me”

  1. Madaline Haigentz October 9, 2015 at 1:49 pm #

    Very sorry I missed your book discussion at the South Orange library, yesterday, but you were so gracious and kind in the brief discussion we had after the event. I loved your latest book. Thanks for leaving a path through that place none of us like to admit let alone discuss openly. Please continue writing, your words matter! I look forward to your next discussion in Essex County.

    • Benilde Little October 9, 2015 at 6:08 pm #

      So glad to hear you loved the book! Nice meeting you too, however brief. I look forward to seeing you at a future event. All Best

  2. Chooley Burns November 24, 2015 at 4:50 pm #

    Being elderly represents the accumulation of years. When what we have done or are still able to do is more significant than what we are doing we have become old.

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